‘Vampire Killers’ – Generic Title, No Scares, Few Laughs

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It’s easy to watch “Shaun of the Dead” and “Slither” and say, heck, who couldn’t make a horror comedy?

“Vampire Killers” reminds us blending the two genres takes a delicate touch – and a sense of humor beyond the grade school level.

The British import, originally called “Lesbian Vampire Killers,” debuts on DVD Dec. 29. Just don’t expect to stack it alongside other horror comedy gems like “Shaun” and “An American Werewolf in London.”

“Killers” belongs on the pay cable circuit where you can watch a few minutes before realizing they’re must be something better on down the dial.

“Vampire Killers” stars James Corden and Matthew Horne (BBC’s “Gavin & Stacey) as a pair of blokes out for holiday. By holiday, we mean “bird hunting,” to use a possibly very dated term.

Jimmy (Horne) is the prototypical nice guy who somehow aligns himself with the overfed Fletch (Corden) who clearly studied at the University of Stifler but never got beyond sophomore year.

Consider yourself warned. At several points Fletch refers to himself as the Fletch-meister.

The two end up in Craigwwich, a dank little hamlet where, unbeknownst to them, every girl turns into a lesbian vampire at the age of 18. The prologue sets this part of the story up effectively, but it still doesn’t grab our attention.

Soon enough, Jimmy and Fletch meet a quarter of lovely ladies and think their vacation is about to pay off. But along come those pesky vampires, forcing the boys to become the latest in a long line of reluctant vampire killers.

The folks behind “Vampire Killers” trot out slick camera tricks, goofy title cards and other gimmicks to spice up the fun. But they forget to pen memorable gags or characters you didn’t want to get impaled at the soonest opportunity.

The best “kill” here, in horror movie terms, involves a funny head-splitting moment. But you have to endure scene after scene of Corden’s inane blather – it’s hardly worth the bother.

The DVD market has been a boon for horror fans in the U.S., often highlighting quality British films like “Eden Lake” which never enjoyed a stateside theatrical release.

“Vampire Killers” is just the opposite, a throwaway import that should have stayed home.

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